One day, when I was twelve years old I said goodbye to my parents and my two younger sisters. Little did we think that it would be six years later before we would see each other again.
My home county had been in a state of civil war for the previous three years, and we knew we weren’t safe. In many ways, similar to how the Covid19 pandemic impacted Ireland (and much of the world), the economy had crashed, chaos was unfolding in our health services and many people were dying. The unfortunate, harsh reality was that we weren’t safe, and there was nothing we could do to protect ourselves or our families. We needed to leave, it was our only hope of survival.
But leaving wasn’t easy and we knew the journey ahead would be risky and difficult. Our aim was to leave Syria and be safe, but our goal was to reach Europe.
My parents wanted the best for their children, and opportunities, like education and health care were best available in Europe.There were countless discussions, debates and indeed tears before my family finally agreed on the journey that laid ahead of us.When ISIS entered our town, my father sold our family home to fund the trip that lay ahead of my fourteen-year-old brother and I.We hugged our family goodbye and embarked on a journey that would challenge us like no other. And that was it, my childhood was gone.
We faced many, many challenges–checkpoints, traffickers, prison, hunger and sheer exhaustion. Itmade sense for my brother and I to do it alone. And anyway, we didn’t have the finances for all six of us to flee.
Europe was our goal, and the route that we planned with my parents before we left them was via Iraq,Turkey and Greece. Travelling from Iraq to Turkey was in ways the most challenging part of the journey. I missed my family terribly, and my heart ached. We crossed forests and mountains during the night so that we wouldn’t be seen.To cross a border for any refugee is difficult, but my family areKurdish, and because Turkey didn’t have a good relationship with the Kurdish people we weren’t welcome there.
lt was because of the poor relationship between Turkey and Kurds that we when we reached the Turkish border we had to enter a prison; it was a makeshift prison, once a basketball court. We weren’t alone there, there was loads and loads of Kurds there too. We all slept together, used the same toilet, and there was no showering facilities.
Sixteen days into our confinement and we were taken to a house of a man who smuggled people to Greece. The next day, at midnight he took us to the water where we boarded a small boat. Again, we were not alone. The boat was over capacity, and there was easily 70 people on board. Off we went, in the dark, again. Our chances of survival were slim; the scene was exactly as you would see on television or on the internet – overcrowded boats, people shouting, crying and pushing. I feared for our lives, yet I never doubted that I would see my parents again. I held onto my brother tightly. And silence. The engine stopped. We screamed, we called for help and then we prayed. We knew we had to save our energy to keep warm. Our only hope was that someone would find us. An hour passed, and another, and in the distance we saw the Greek Emergency Services coming our way. Again, we cried and we thanked God for answering our prayers.
The Greek people welcomed us and Greece became our home for two and a half years. We claimed asylum in Greece; a process in which you declare to the State that you don’t have visa or appropriate paperwork to be there, but that you cannot return to your home country because you fear for your life. Life was good in Greece although we did not have access to work or education so we couldn’t stay there long term. We went to the Irish Embassy and applied to be relocated to Ireland. Two years later our application was accepted.
In 2018, we were admitted to Ireland under the Irish Refugee Protection Programme; a programme that was established to support the resettlement of 4000 Syrian refugees between 2015 and 2019. Initially, we lived an Emergency Orientation and Reception Centre (EROC). This centre is specifically for refugees and so there were lots of supports and services in place in preparation for our resettlement in the community; I started to learn English and learn about various Irish systems and the workings of them. I was then resettled to a town in rural Ireland where my brother and I live independently in the community, supported by a Resettlement Team. I began to enjoy life and we settled into Irish life quiet well. For the first time in a very long time I had ambition and dreams. But overpowering all of that was heartache and sadness. I longed for my mother’s hug. I needed my father to tell me that everything was ok. And I wanted so desperately to be a big sister to my two younger siblings.
Meanwhile, the war continued to escalate, particularly in the Kurdish regions. My family were not safe. We kept in contact on our phones but due to the war there would be days and days in which they would not have access to electricity to charge their phones, or signal would be down. On those days I wondered if they were still alive.
I wrote a letter to the Irish Government requesting for support to be reunited with my parents. Permission to commence the Family Reunification Application process was granted on the basis that I was still legally a child. It was a long and difficult process; the onset of the Covid19 pandemic delayed the application significantly and there was mountains of paperwork that needed to be completed in English. The application was made all the more complex because I didn’t hold my family’s officially documents. It was overwhelming but I couldn’t give up – I needed my family. We provided a DNA test confirming the biological relationship between my parents, sisters and the application was approved. My parents and sisters then needed to present at an Irish Embassy and unfortunately, the Embassy in Turkey was the nearest Embassy to them. I cannot explain the worry of knowing that my parents and sisters would need to cross the Turkish border, and endure many of the same challenges that my brother and I did years before. But they did it.
Once their Travel Documents were issued they booked a flight to Ireland and, on the 18th December 2020, for the first time in six years my family were together. We hugged, and we cried, happy tears this time.
As Muslims, Christmas is not something my family would have traditionally celebrated. However since being resettled in Ireland we join our new neighbours and friends to celebrate this special time. We decorate our home, exchange gifts and enjoy nice meals together. I took a selfie of my sisters and I on Christmas Day and proudly posted it on social media, and I realised that Christmas 2020 was the first time I truly experienced what Christmas is really about – family, gratitude, sharing. Christmas will be forevermore an important and special celebration in our lives.
Now I am content. I feel like my life goals and ambitions are achievable. My past will at times haunt me, but it has shaped me into the person I am today. I have grown to be a kind, courageous, ambitious, brave and compassionate young lady.
While I have first-hand experience of war and the devastation that it brings to families; as a twelve year old I said goodbye to my parents, knowing that I may never see them. I secretly wondered if my fourteen-year-old brother had what it took to keep me safe. I have been so hungry I’ve searched hedges and walkways for food, my body has been so exhausted that I fell asleep praying that I would have the energy to wake up.
I also have first-hand experience of being made to feel welcome in a country thousands of miles away from familiarity and know the comfort and warmth that brings. I have relied on the kindness of strangers to start over again.
I want to say thank you. To my parents for having faith in me, and always wanting the best for me. To my brother who took me under his wing and looked after me from day one. I hope I have made you proud.
The Irish Government and the Irish Refugee Protection Programme, thank you for accepting our application, for bringing us to Ireland, and for approving the Family Reunification Application for our family.
To Respond and the Resettlement Team, for being such an important part of our journey. For encouraging us, believing in us and never letting us give up. Thank you.
And lastly, to the people of Ireland, for welcoming refugees, I will be forever grateful.